Lament: Beauty Out of Bitterness

​THE BEAUTY OF LAMENT IN SUFFERING

When pain almost strangles us, and darkness is our closest friend, what should we do?

For years, I thought the best response was cheerful acceptance. Since God uses everything for our good and His glory, I felt the most God-honoring attitude was to appear joyful all the time–even when I was confused and angry, even when my heart was breaking, and especially when I was around people who didn’t know Christ.

I have since learned the beauty of lamenting in my suffering. Lament highlights the Gospel more than stoicism ever could. Hearing our authentic lament can draw others to God in unexpected ways.

I first noticed the power of lament in the book of Ruth. I had long seen Ruth as the undisputed hero of the book that bears her name, and Naomi as the grumbling character with weak faith and a negative attitude. Having walked in similar shoes for a fraction of my journey, I have gained a new respect for the depth of Naomi's trust in God.

Ruth was an eyewitness to Naomi’s faith. She saw that faith hold fast, even in horrific circumstances. Behind Naomi’s faith, Ruth saw the God who heard Naomi’s lament and didn’t condemn her, even as Naomi spoke frankly about her disappointment with God.

Lamenting to a god would have been foreign to Ruth. Ruth’s first god was Chemosh, the god of Moab. No one would have dared lament or complain to him. Pagan gods were appeased; there was no personal relationship with any of them, especially not with Chemosh, who demanded child sacrifices.

LAMENT SHOWS TRUST IN GOD

As Ruth watched Naomi, she witnessed an entirely different God, a God Naomi trusted enough to tell Him how she felt. 

Naomi's trust was extraordinary, given the tragedies she endured. She and her husband had left Israel for Moab with their two sons in search of food. While they were there, Naomi's sons and husband died; she was left alone: a widow, a grieving mother, a foreigner–with no means to support herself.

Though she said God's hand had gone out against her, Naomi didn’t walk away from God in anger. She stayed close to Him and continued to use God's covenant name (Yahweh), asking Him to bless her daughters-in-law. Naomi did not stop praying; she believed God heard her prayers.

Naomi's trust was further evidenced by her determination to travel to Bethlehem alone. If Naomi felt that God had truly abandoned her, she would never have begun that journey. She would have stayed in bed, pulled the covers over her head, and died in Moab, bitter and angry at God–but she doesn’t do that. She acted in faith, trusting that God would provide for her.

HONESTY IN LAMENT

When Naomi returned to her hometown, she didn’t pretend everything was fine–she was achingly honest. She invited others to peer into the dark corners of her bitterness and frustration. Asserting that God had dealt bitterly with her and brought calamity upon her, she admitted that she was empty.

Her raw words may have made the townspeople uncomfortable (Laments often do.), but her humility and utter honesty would also have drawn people to her. They could grieve with her–and they could grieve their losses too, without fearing God’s disapproval or others’ judgment.

Underlying Naomi’s lament was a deep trust and understanding of God. She spoke truthfully about Him, acknowledging that He controlled all things and was the ultimate of everything. She was not resentful of God and did not turn away from Him. Quite the opposite, Naomi moved toward God with honesty.

LAMENT AMID PAIN

It was amid Naomi's pain and lament that Ruth came to know God. Ruth gave up everything to follow Naomi and her God, whom she had come to know personally as Yahweh. She saw His faithfulness through Naomi, discerning that this God was worthy of worship.

Lamenting keeps us engaged with God.  When we lament, we invite God into our pain so that we can know His comfort and others can see that our faith is real. Our faith is not a façade we erect to convince ourselves and others that pain doesn’t hurt–instead, it is an oak tree that can withstand the storms of doubt and pain in our lives, growing stronger through them. 

GODLY LAMENT

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. (Matthew 5:4)

When we live authentically, we naturally draw others to God’s grace. Naomi’s pain and bitterness could have pushed Ruth away from God, as Ruth saw Naomi struggle with God’s goodness. Instead, Ruth saw Naomi’s hope, even through catastrophic loss, was in a sovereign God who was loving enough to hear and respond to her lament. 

We can see that God did hear Naomi’s lament and respond to it.  He gave her Ruth, and He gave her Boaz.  He gave her a grandson, Obed, who was in the line of Christ. He gave her Himself, for that is what her heart needed most.

Lament: Beauty Out of Bitterness was first published in April 2016. Adapted and published with permission.

PRAYER

Father, how amazing it is that You, God of all, want to hear our lament! Help us move toward You and not away from You in our grief. May we invite You into our pain and, in turn, allow others to see more of who You are through our lives. In Jesus’ name, amen.

QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION

1. How can lament show our trust in God?
2. Have you ever felt that your lament made others uncomfortable?
3. How can your honest lament help others to know God differently?